Happy Memorial Day from Schrute Farms!
“Gettysburg was very important, credit where credit is due. Big MAD props to Gettysburg. Was it, however, the most northern battle of the Civil War? Not by a long shot. Was it the second most northern? SURE! The Civil War history industry has conveniently forgotten about the battle of Schrute Farms. [scoffs] Whatever. I’m over it. It’s just grossly irresponsible. Sure, total deaths belong to Gettysburg but when you’re talking about D.P.A., that’s deaths per acre, nothing beats the battle of Schrute Farms.“
-Dwight Schrute
(Proud Beet Farmer)
“But the Battle at Schrute Farms was no battle at all. It was a code used by pacifists from both North and South who turned the Pennsylvania farmhouse into an artistic community and a refuge from the war. You have to understand. Poets, artists, dancers – these kinds of men preferred peace to war. These delicate, lovely men found a place of refuge among the Schrutes at Schrute Farms. Amidst the macho brutality of war this was a place where dandies and dreamers could put on plays and sing tender ballads and dance in the moonlight. I like to think of Schrute Farms as the Underground Railroad for the sensitive… and well… fabulous.
– Amanda Fields-Shad
(Poet and Historian, Fictional, Appeared in S8E8 of The Office)
Today we remember the brave men and women who died fighting for the greatest country in the world. Wherever or however they served, we honor them today!
