Grape Soda

Submitted by Jim Halpert

Hey. It’s Jim. I’m a simple man. I don’t understand how making grape soda from home is any better than just putting 3 quarters in a vending machine. But I was coerced into giving up a recipe. Dwight started the argument. He insisted one needs to ferment the grapes. That would make it an alcoholic beverage, one I have been drinking every day for 12 years and thus I should be fired or worse for public intoxication. Anyway, I googled the recipe below. I did not try it myself. It’s alcohol free but try to enjoy anyway.

Ingredients

  • 1 bunch concord grapes about 1 1/2 pounds
  • 3/4 cup granulated sugar
  • 3/4 cup water
  • 2 strips lemon zest
  • 1 strip orange zest
  • Tiny pinch of kosher salt
  • Juice of 1/2 lemon
  • Ice
  • Club soda or seltzer

Instructions

  1. Combine the grapes, sugar, water, lemon zest, orange zest, and salt in a medium saucepan. Bring to a boil over medium-high heat, then reduce the heat to a simmer. Using a wooden spoon, crush the grapes against the side of the pan. Cook until completely soft, about 20 minutes. Remove from the heat and strain the mixture through a fine mesh sieve into a large bowl. Stir in the lemon juice. Transfer to a container and chill.
  2. For each soda, pour 1/4 cup of syrup into a glass with ice. Top with club soda or seltzer.
  3. The syrup will keep for up to a month in the refrigerator
Not that I condone any of this but if you must “get groovy” or whatever and alter your mind with controlled substances then add a shot of gin into 4 oz of the grape soda. Add a lemon wedge to rim if you really want people to shout “check out the slut”.

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